Thursday, October 2, 2008

Stix and Stones

After months of verbal attacks against Gonzo and his staff, Seton Hall athletic director Joe Q has decided to take this feud to the next level. He has chosen to suspend recent transfer Robert "Stix" Mitchell for the first two games of the Puerto Rico tournament, which Dave and I will be attending.

Now you may ask yourself, what did good ole Stix do to deserve such punishment? Well, as NCAA transfer regulations clearly stipulate, no student athlete may travel with the team while serving the mandatory one-year rest period.

Tragically, when the Hall was playing Georgetown last year, Stix allegedly found himself abandoned by a "friend," and he was left without a ride for the trip back. In a move perhaps best epitomized by the physical comedy of Jim Carrey in "The Mask," Stix then attempted to sneak onto the team bus for the trip back. Unfortunately, he was caught, and the mask with all its magical powers was tossed into a nearby river. (The Potomac?!?!?)

There are a lot of angles to this story. First off, why did assistant coach Derm "a.k.a. skin" Player allow him to board? Secondly, and more importantly, why did Joe Q suspend Stix for these two games?!?!!? Without a doubt, this kind of infraction warrants a punishment, but these aren't even the first two games of the season! Also, these are two of the only games that Seton Hall will have broadcast on ESPN this year -- why deny Stix such exposure, and why embarrass Seton Hall with a roster of 7!!! It's all so unfair.

But perhaps this is the most frustrating element of the story: I was there. I could have helped.

Stix, why didn't you call me?!?! I remember the Georgetown game well... I was "crashing" at my aunt and uncle's house in Alexandria, VA. They would have kindly extended their home to you. We would have fed you. Clothed you. The next morning, we could have driven back to South Orange together, laughing the whole way. You could have controlled the radio. It would have been epic.

I will end with a quote:

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice."

- Baruch Spinoza

1 comment:

j said...

seriously, i fucking love this blog. underneath the carefully crafted humor and well written pose, there is a yearning to be a part of the team. If only bobby g would realize what he has here in two obsessed, crazy, and possibly mental, fans