There are times during life when a man will do anything to appear cool. Most men experience this feeling while trying to impress an attractive "senorita." For me, the circumstances were very different indeed.
Ben and I were at the San Juan airport, replaying the incredible events of the past few days in our respective minds, when the unthinkable happened. We ran into the players in our terminal!! That's right -- the entire Seton Hall basketball team, including Coach Gonzo and AD Quinlan, were going to be joining us on our flight back to Newark!! Umm... jackpot!
We were understandably overcome with emotion. I mean, these guys are our heroes. What were we going to do?? Ben decided to approach SHU shooting guard extraordinaire Jeremy Hazell in the vain hopes of possibly snatching a picture with his O'Reilly Auto Parts First-Team trophy. (A point of inquiry for the San Juan Continental staff: did you also happen to nail Jeremy with the additional carry-on charge??!?!) Meanwhile, I decided to walk over and talk to Mike Davis.
Mike had been up and down in Puerto Rico. He had stepped up huge against USC, grabbing a number of key rebounds, though he seemed to struggle against Memphis and Va Tech. But say what you want about Mike... the kid is huge. He's an imposing giant with a heart of gold.
While talking to Mike, I realized that I was trying especially hard to act cool. This was to be expected... I mean who wouldn't stumble in the face of greatness?!?! Of course, you can imagine my feeling of crushing disappointment when the following line somehow fell from my lips:
"I don't mean to toot my own horn, Mike, but the fans really helped you guys out during the games."
At first glance, you might say there's nothing wrong with what I said. Upon reflection, however, you will agree that "toot" is probably the single dumbest, most emasculating word in the English language. Stupid Dave!! Stupid!!
In attempting to sound cool, I had actually "tooted" myself in the foot. Kids, let this be a lesson: Always be yourself, and definitely always pack light on domestic flights to avoid usurious additional charges.