Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Hall Clenches Jaw; Laughs UMASS off the Court


Offense has always been the Gonzo specialty. But last night, SHU gritted its teeth and played strong defense, rendering the Minutemen nothing more than a passing reference in a Missy Elliott jam.

But before the Hall clamped down, the night began with one of the best open-mouth performances I've ever heard. Dave and I could not believe it -- that girl who sung the anthem should belt it out every game. In fact, it was sung so beautifully, I nearly forgot the excruciating pain of having had my wisdom tooth extracted just a few hours before. Bring on the Gause pad!

Still, while the musical talent was lovely, the tap dance portion was sublime. Derek Kellogg, the UMASS head coach, did his best impression of Michael Scott meets Savion Glover, as he awkwardly stomped around the court until he literally slipped in a puddle of his own soggy Frosted Flakes. By comparison, Gonzo was calm, cool and collected.

But that didn't stop Little Miss Higgins from imposing his will on the game. Handing out technical fouls like lollipops at the dentist, Piggins simply does not know how to be invisible.

Last night's individual performances were extraordinary. JT and Harvey played great on both ends. Pope gave a superhuman effort, considering he was recovering from a stomach bug. And even Mel and lil' Mel (Jamel) got into the action!! Is it possible that Mel scored the prettiest reverse layup of the season?

I do, however, have to voice one frustration: with these kinds of blowouts, I'm not sure why we leave our starters in the game as long as we do. The game was getting chippy, the score was out of hand. So why use Garcia at all and risk injury?? Cajuste played actual game minutes last year against Providence and Nova -- why not use him in spurts besides the last 5 minutes? I realize that Gonzo wants to give his starters experience, but these are the games when you develop your bench and rest the guys you need down the road. Dave and I almost lost all our teeth when Garcia's knee twisted.

Overall, great, great win. Can I open my jaw now?

3 comments:

UConnia said...

Amherst is the worst town in the country

Runs with Scissors said...

Higgins has a small penis.

Ironlung75 said...

How can Higgins not be retired yet. I hope Mel runs into him in a game soon. It would be all over. Put out of our misery.