Zagoraphobia!!

According to Webster's Dictionary, "agoraphobia" is defined as: "a nervous disorder often triggered by the fear of no easy means of escape." We can only surmise then that Gonzo suffered from an unexpected bout of Zagoraphobia when he bumped into popular blogger Adam Zagoria of Zagsblog.net under the bleachers of the Prudential Center after the Hall's thrashing of Columbia. With his salt-and-pepper pho-hawk and Wesleyan education, Adam must have cut a terrifying figure, prompting Coach Gonzo to allegedly call out in fear, cursing and screaming. 

(For the details, check out the full story on SNY.) 

In all seriousness though, this could not come at a worse time for the program. After two solid wins, and the prospect of some positive recruiting news, things were starting to look sunny for this San Juan-bound squad. Whether it's Gonzo being Gonzo, or Zags being infantile, who knows... But here's the real question: How in God's name are Dave and I going to wake up in time to meet our fellow Booster Club members at the airport at 5 am on Thursday????!!!

Media Credentials Denied; Appeal Filed

As readers of the blog, you know that Dave and I are pretty serious about our love for the Hall. We follow this team religiously, and with true journalistic integrity.

It's for that reason that we decided to apply for media credentials to cover the team more closely at home games. Unfortunately, we just received an email that we've been denied. Fear not, however!! I have just filed an appeal with someone named Matt. Let's keep our fingers crossed...

Here's the email from the Hall:


Thank you for your interest in covering Seton Hall University men's basketball. Unfortunately, your request does not meet our credential criteria and it is not possible to accommodate all requests. You were denied credentials for the following reason:

Due to limited media space, Seton Hall University does not credential independent bloggers.

If you have any questions regarding your credential request, please contact Matt Sweeney at sweenemc@shu.edu.


Here's our "appeal:"


Dear Matt,

A few weeks ago, my fellow blogger Dave and I applied for media credentials to cover Seton Hall basketball. Unfortunately, we were inexplicably denied. In the email we received, we were told: "Seton Hall University does not credential independent bloggers."

I certainly understand that media credentials for Seton Hall must be in very high-demand, and accommodating every request is surely impossible. Really, who in their right mind wouldn't want the opportunity to report on this crazy squad?!?!?! Gonzo?!?! Nunu?!?! I can only imagine the piles and piles of applications.

Ordinarily, I would accept this denial with grace and humility. I must, however, take objection to the phrase "independent bloggers."

Dave and I are in no way independent. In fact, we depend on Seton Hall basketball for everything. Without the Seton Hall team, we'd have no reason to go on. "It's like someone saying I can't have air. I can't live without air, and I can't live without them." (Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire, referring to his children.)

Although I've never met you Matt, I can say confidently that you will never meet two people more dependent on anything in your entire life. And now, I'm depending on you.

I kindly and respectfully ask that the powers that be reconsider this decision. Not unlike Herbert Pope, I hope that you will take seriously my "appeal," accounting for all personal hardship I may or may not
have endured.

Sincerely,

Ben and Dave

Only 22 hrs and 40 mins to go...

Well, its official.

Maurice "Murray Hill" Sutton (Place) will decide between the holy trinity of schools tomorrow at a 3pm press conference held at his Largo High School (MD).

Check out "Zagsblog" for more information.

Also, it appears as though Coach Bobby G will be speaking from the pulpit tomorrow at a press conference for Seton Hall beat writers. If anyone has a spare pair of credentials, we would love to go.

Until then...keep praying.

Dayeinu!

During the Passover seder, everyone sings a song entitled “Dayeinu” as a way of expressing gratitude for the Lord’s generosity during our time in bondage. Translated from the Hebrew, “dayeinu” means “enough” – the idea is this: if the Lord had only shown half as much generosity, it would have sufficed.

On this, the second day of the Passover festival, Dave and I decided to make a pilgrimage. Unbelievable as it may seem, Dave had actually never set foot on Seton Hall’s glorious campus – like the land of Canaan, it was a mere far-away dream world for him. But today, that all changed. Touring around campus, we checked out the grounds, the beautiful dormitories. We drove down dead-ends, and performed K-turns, flawlessly. All-in-all, a wonderful experience! Dayeinu!!

But of course, the Pope’s visit would prove major dividends for us, as on this day, we struck true holiness – we actually ran into Okosun!! He was walking into Walsh Gym, carrying a basketball, listening to his iPod (shuffle?!?!?!?!)

Now, for those who don’t know, Okosun is pretty much our favorite player. His work ethic is unparalleled, and his patriotism, inspiring. There is no one I wanted to see more than my good (Facebook) friend, Augustine Okosun. So when we spotted him entering the gym, we had to follow.

Unfortunately, neither of us have swipe access. After ruminating for a while in the lobby, catching our breath, we decided to call it quits. As we were leaving, however, we noticed an open door on the side of building. Following the school motto (Hazard Zet Forward) we chose to “Hazard,” making our way boldly into the athletic center.

We desperately tried to find the gymnasium, but it was no avail. We kept finding ourselves getting lost in random corridors that led to nowhere, not unlike Seton Hall’s recruiting efforts with local four-star prospects. Our dream of practicing footwork with the big man, perhaps even lobbing alleyoop passes, trading smiles, laughs, was sadly not to be. Ultimately, we got trapped in a stairwell, leaving us with no choice than to leave through the emergency exit, activating the “alarm” as we fled like young rams. (2:13)

When we reached the car, we pretty much broke down and cried. I was physically exhausted, and Dave was overcome with emotion. When Dave said the word “emotion,” it sounded to me like “Okosun.” When I said, “Let’s get out of here,” Dave couldn’t hear me because the alarm was still quite loud, even though we had run very far.

On our way out of campus, we realized it had been a great day. Dave had seen Seton Hall for the first time, and we got to see Okosun, even if for only a second. And how great to see the big guy practicing in the off-season! Dayeinu!!!!

But wait!! Who are those two students walking on the sidewalk? Could it be – Brandon Wawa and Paul Gause??!?!?! Jackpot numero duo!!! Rolling down the window, Dave flashed them a quick wave, to which they did not immediately respond. After we found ourselves faced with yet another dead-end, however, forcing us to turn around yet again, we passed them a second time, and they definitely saw us for sure. Even though Paul kept dribbling his basketball, and Brandon kept looking forward, I’m pretty sure they noticed. Also, they looked startled by the sound of a distant alarm.

The story of the exodus is not one to be taken lightly. It’s a story that demands retelling, because it’s essential to the freedoms we currently enjoy. On this Passover, Dave and I didn’t just retell the story – we enacted it, sounding the bell of freedom loud and clear.

Third Time's a Charm

I could begin this post talking about the Rutgers game. About the questionable calls down the stretch. About the off-balance, game-winning, three-pointer from J.R. Inman. About the fact that Gonzo almost punched Fred Hill in the mouth, with good reason I might add.

Or what about the fact that Dave and I sat in our seats completely dumbstruck by the loss, refusing to vacate the arena even after the ushers threatened us with violence. A move that would later pay major dividends, as the Seton Hall players would congregate half-an-hour later in the Ice lounge with the university boosters – a group which we would go on to infiltrate. Mike Davis, Stix, Paul Gause. They were all there. We talked strategy with John Garcia’s father. We stared awkwardly at Eugene Harvey’s brother. We learned that Robert Mitchell carries multiple other nicknames in addition to “Stix,” including “Sticky” and “Sticky Icky.”

It was an eye-opening experience to say the least. We learned about the inner workings of the team, heard all the gossip, saw the world behind the curtain. (We’ll post more about this another time.)

But for now let’s focus on the future. Because that future starts tomorrow.

On Wednesday night, Seton Hall faces off against Marquette in the first round of the Big East tournament. It will be the third time the Hall faces the Golden Eagles this season, and there’s quite a lot of bad blood between these squads.

Despite the fact that Seton Hall lost both meetings, there’s reason to be optimistic. After squandering a big lead against RU, the Hall is a team with some unfinished business. Seniors Jamar and Brian deserved to be sent off with a win, and the team failed to deliver. Well, you can bet the Hall will do everything in their power to turn things around in NYC.

Gary Cohen, Dave Popkin Will Seton Hall to Victory

Wow. Wowsers. Wow-a-mania. Whatever form you choose, one thing is unanimous – what a game. Seton Hall traveled down to South Florida tonight (which is actually not located in southern Florida but is instead on the western coast of the state) and literally turned off the lights as they won 79-75.

Led all night by the unconscious performances of senior captains Brian Laing and Jamar Nutter, Seton Hall turned to their big man Johnny Garcia down the stretch to lead them to victory. Not even a state-wide power outage could stop Johnny as he out muscled and out milked USF big man, Kentrelle Gransberry. Not only did Cherry post his fifth double-double of the season, but something about that Florida sun transformed him into the second coming of Reggie Miller as he sank two free throws late in the game to help seal the deal for the Hall.

Unfortunately, Ben and I were unable to actually see the game as Time Warner Cable looked more like Nunu on the fast break than a legitimate cable company, so we had to turn to our trusted friends the Honorable Gary Cohen and Sir Dave Popkin. So while Ben was busy frolicking around, tossing ping pong balls into plastic cups during the first half, I was strapped to my seat listening to the gospel of Gary and Dave. And what a sermon it was – Gary delivered his usual poignant play-by-play and Dave added his timely game analysis. Because of them, I was able to survive this television blackout.

Next step: the Pirates take their ship into the Red Storm of St. John’s as they look to get closer to clinching a bid to the Big East Tournament. Afterwards, perhaps an afterparty with Davis and Hazell at Galway Hooker? They may be attending…

Lessons for Life

Well, we’re back. It was one of the greatest roadtrips of all time, and now we must resume our daily routine. Get up, feed the crayfish, go to work, come home, feed the crayfish, then dream all night about Seton Hall…

But it’s important not to forget the lessons we learned while in West Virginia, because those lessons were critical.

Lesson #1: Visit parts of the country that tourists never visit.

Dave and I were not tourists in West Virginia – we were West Virginians. While we were there, we completely immersed ourselves in the culture, everything from attending a Morgantown high school musical production of High School Musical, to catching a ride back to our hotel with the pizza delivery boy (or was he truly a man?). We rode Rt. 250 at sunset. We met Bob Huggins in a bar (twice). All in all, it was the experience of a lifetime.

Lesson #2: Always carry a pen.

The number of autographs we received on this journey was nothing short of staggering. Bob Huggins, yes, but nearly the entire Seton Hall team as well!!! Armed with a pen he found in the lobby, and his two functional arms, Dave successfully waved down player after player and convinced each to sign his Waterfront Plaza Hotel notepad. If Dave hadn’t found that pen, would the signatures even exist? If Marty’s parents hadn’t kissed at the Under the Sea dance, would he even exist?!?!?!

Lesson #3: Mike Davis must have done something stupid during warm-ups.

Mike Davis must have done something stupid during warm-ups. You know how we know this? Because he didn’t play the entire game. Not a single minute. And he was listed as a starter on the scoreboard just a couple seconds before tip-off. Also, he could have potentially helped Seton Hall a lot in that game, as West Virginia doesn’t have that many big bodies to match up against the 6’10 Davis. (Except perhaps Jamie Smalligan, whose last name sums up the lilliputian aspect of his game). My guess is that Gonzo wanted to send Davis a message (in a bottle?)

Lesson #4: Crayfish should be fed multiple times per day.

Although technically “unnecessary,” and “potentially harmful for the PH level of the tank,” it’s always better to be safe than sorry.

So with these lessons learned, we now look forward to the next game. Seton Hall is desperate for a win in this upcoming contest for Depaul, and you can bet Depaul is going to be hungry as well after losing a squeaker against UConn. Expect an epic battle in this match-up of major Big East tournament implications.